The Comparison Trap & 3 Ways to Overcome it.

Oh the comparison trap! We have all been there, many times I'm sure. We are actually a culture that encourages this. Everything we do from when we are babies is charted and compared to our peers. It's no wonder we fall into the trap of constantly comparing ourselves to each other. We are taught too. Now I don't know about you, but there are times when this had made me feel awful, ungrateful and depressed. We tend to think highly of others and less of ourselves. We see other people's success and become envious because we want to be successful.

Comparison is the thief of joy (Theodore Roosevelt). It truly is.

It's takes effort to retrain your thought process, but I'm telling you it's worth it. You will feel better about yourself and about everyone else. Every time you find yourself comparing, or wondering how so and so was able to do or get whatever. Stop, immediately. Either think about something else, remind yourself that you don't know the whole story, or focus on just being happy for that person.

Thinking about something else works because it changes your focus. Can't decide what to think about, remember the things you are grateful for. One thing that I learned while scrolling through my Facebook feed was to stop whenever I started to become unsatisfied with myself or when I saw someone doing something that I wanted to do. I'd end up starting to focus on how unfair that was. Success seems to come so easily to other people. This is where we are often wrong. We are only seeing the positive things that people are posting. We don't see how many times that person failed before succeeding. We don't see how much time and effort they put in. When these comparison thoughts start to creep into your mind, stop scrolling and go look at your own profile and your own photo's. When looking from the outside in, as opposed to the inside out, you'll realize that to others your life probably looks pretty amazing too. Seeing your success stories and your favourite memories and photo's will remind you to be grateful for who you are and what you have. Also, if you are feeling this way, it's pretty likely that those other "successful" looking people are actually feeling the same way. In our world image is everything, we create these perfect ideals / images online or in person. We do this with what we post, how we dress, what material things we purchase, and what we say. Instead of focusing on others, focus on what we are grateful for ourselves.

We also need to remind ourselves that we don't know the whole story. We see what people let us see about themselves. Often it's not entirely real. We want people to like us and we play up our strengths and success. Some things may not even be true, people just like to be thought well of that much they're willing to stretch the truth or outright lie about it. No one likes to talk about failure. No one likes to admit that they tried something and it didn't work. So we don't talk about it. We just need to remember ourselves that we don't know the whole story when we start to compare or feel envious of someone else. We don't know what's going on in other people's minds or behind closed doors. You may think that someone is doing really well. They may be able to make some amazing purchases or drive fancy cars, but those same people may be struggling to make ends meet and pay off a mountain of debt. If that's the case (and it's not always) think of how stressful it probably is for that person. And would you really want to trade places with them? There may be someone who invented a product and now it seems like they are set for life. They had one amazing idea. The thing is it's only the one amazing idea that's promoted, you don't know about the 400 ideas they had that failed. Just because someone looks or is successful for a moment doesn't mean it was easy or that it will last. It also doesn't mean that they are happy.

Lastly, and I think the best course of action would be to stop comparing and just plain be happy for each other's successes. Stop thinking of yourself and celebrate each other. Genuinely meaning it. This takes practice and confidence. We are all created differently with different talents and abilities. Just because someone else is successful with something doesn't mean you won't be successful. There's not a limited amount of success being passed out. That's not how it works. Let's just appreciate each other and let go of the rest. There's no human that's better than another. We are just different. And different is amazing.

Do you find yourself falling into the comparison trap? How do you work your way out of it?